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Yes, I am okay despite these feelings

In last week’s story, I recounted a very difficult day, one in which I was overcome with anticipatory grief. Since then, many of you, friends and neighbors alike, have reached out to check in, to make sure I am okay. I am. 

I don’t have a new story to share this week…time has come up short! But I do want to acknowledge all of you and the kindness you have shown in reaching out.

What I have learned is that life leads us down paths we wouldn’t sign up for, given the choice, but these unwelcome byways force us to grow just the same. The profound grief of loss is such an experience. 

Over the months of mourning Robert’s decline, I have become more human. I am deeply grateful for this change in perspective. 

When I first began to hold the boulder of my grief in my body it was a curiosity to me. Foreign. My goal was to expel it. I turned it over for closer examination. I believed that I would, one day, “master” it, and in mastery I could shrink this ordnance. 

This has not been my experience. Grief does not diminish over time. 

Our capacity to incorporate it into our being grows. Our humanity grows and we become better able to trust our grief, to give it the space all penetrating lessons deserve. 

So that’s my short missive for this week. 

Life is beautiful. And it is short.

May you embrace each day and all its lessons with a fullness of heart. 

Love, Sharon

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